i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
