Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
