no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
