she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
