Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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