I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
