Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize