so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You're a waste of cheezeits
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
