i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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