Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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