she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
