Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize