You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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