Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
