I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
