You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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