just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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