My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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