it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
