I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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