Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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