ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize