my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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