Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
