When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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