well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
