roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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