I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
