quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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