Just cropdusted the office
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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