HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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