Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
