I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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