That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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