This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
