The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
