duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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