You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
