Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
