i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
