I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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