the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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