They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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