Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm at about main and main street
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
