you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize