smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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