you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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