He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
