Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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