Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
