we have officially lost it.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
