she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
