She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
