dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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