there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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