How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
my liver is dry heaving
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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