You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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