maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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