She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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