Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize