I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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