Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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