Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I need a beard to bite.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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