Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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