Bisexual people are plain selfish.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
